Are they saying you can't work it out without having a clearly defined type?!

I fell in love with individual persons, not a type. My wife is the second woman I ever dated.

You don't need a type; you need one person you love, who loves you, with a sane family, a manageable amount of baggage, and values broadly compatible with your own. Sort out the big ugly stuff sooner rather than later to avoid wasted time: kids, preferred housing, willingness to relocate, religion, politics.

//